Why am I awake? Thoughts from a spiritual insomniac

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Why am I awake? Thoughts from a spiritual insomniac

Guest Blogger Marie Miller

Dear World,

I am having trouble sleeping these days. There is too much on my mind to shut it down, and I am angry at how early I awoke this morning after such a restless night. I think of my friend Danielle who has insomnia and yet still smiles wide when I ask her, “Did you sleep last night?”, and I know she barely did.

All this “sleep talk” makes me wonder if we are all spiritual insomniacs never really resting from the constantly rushed and noisy, t.v screened culture that is our own.

When my brother and I were visiting the Great Wall of China this November we could hear a loud speaker blaring in Mandarin even after the mile hike up to see the view. Sometimes it feels like no matter where you go someone is trying to sell you something or sell you on some agenda. Even the kind people at Jiffy Lube keep the t.v turned on in the waiting room, so that I will never have to hear the sound of my own breathing.

I feel that the only way to escape is to fight for time to pray and mediate. I can almost feel my soul bones aching for rest. Pray. Meditate. 

I want to live in a room that is completely screen less, bake bread, brew loose leaf tea, write in a journal, paint a picture, and play baseball. Do things that take time and are timeless human experiences. Authentic Leisure. 

Let us all be rebels in this advertisement culture where the president elect is still up at 3am sending mindless tweets. Let us rest.



(Marie Miller is a songwriter and Curb Records recording artist from the Blue Ridge Mountains in Virginia. She grew up on a small vineyard with her parents and nine siblings in an old house named Glenway. She spent most of her childhood reading old books, writing songs, or strumming her mandolin. She is now a grown woman and continues these same childhood past times when she is not traveling the world singing songs.)